found this on a friendster bulletin board. haha. this should reach the UPd faculty. :D

Whew, the centennial of our beloved university is just a year away! And yet how come I can’t feel the administration’s plan for our 100th year celebration? Maybe they are having problems coming up with things to celebrate our decade of existence as the country’s premiere learning institution. So let me suggest some things that might be done to improve our dear campus in line with the celebration of our one hundredth year in 2008.


CRS V.3
I think most (if not all) UP students would agree with me that the university’s computerized registration system has long been a student’s pain in the… head during registration period. So I’m suggesting constructing a huge tambiolo in the sunken garden, in which all subject slots will be put inside scribed in fancy colored balls. Then all of UP’s students will draw one (whether or not he/she needs the subject he/she gets) and after drawing the balls a bargaining phase will commence where students will bargain the subjects they need with other students, trading slots.


ALTERNATIVE TO THE BOARD OF REGENTS
Personally, I think the board of regents should be abolished because it doesn’t serve the interest of the campus’ students who are the very composition of the university (think kule issue plus TFI). I think it should be replaced with an automated system where everyone will have a say on the decisions made for the university. Who isn’t bored of regents anyway? (Pun intended) With the system I am proposing, every professor, student, janitor-anyone within immediate concern of the university will have power equivalent to their percentage in the university population. The automated system will go like this: You will just have to text POSITION LAST NAME FIRST NAME MIDDLE NAME ID NUMBER COLLEGE DEPARTMENT DECISION REASON and send it to outer space! Uhm, err to 1908, I mean then a computer will tabulate the results. Voila! Vox populi, vox Dei.


ADDITIONAL COLLEGES AND COURSES
With the growing diversity and variety of the students’ interests in the campus, I think it is crucial for the university to create the following colleges and courses:


(I) COLLEGE OF ELITISM AND OVERAESTHETICS- This new college might create a problem with the College of Business Administration, College of Mass Communication, College of Arts and Letters and School of Economics as the said colleges might experience an exodus of their students who want to shift to the following courses to be offered by this new college:

(1) BS ABDOMINAL KINETICS- Caters to those students who, when walking, looks like a manananggal that’s about to be divided in half as the swaying of their mid section suggests.
**JOB OPPORTUNITY: Belly dancer or Guest relations officers in clubs.

(2) BA SOSYAL STUDIES-Dedicated to students who have passion in climbing the social ladder.
**JOB OPPORTUNITY: Social Butterfly

(3) BS FISCAL MISMANAGEMENT-Students under this course will be taught to spend their money like there’s no tomorrow.
**JOB OPPORTUNITY: Politicia

(4) BS GIMMICKAL GEOGRAPHY-Mostly field study where graduates of this course should develop a nose for partying.
**JOB OPPORTUNITY: Events planner, travel agent

(5) MA CONYOTICS-advanced studies in elitism. Only graduates of the BA SOSYAL STUDIES, BS FISCAL MISMANAGEMENT and BS GIMMICKAL GEOGRAPHY who obtained a GWA of 1.25 or higher are allowed to take the
program.
JOB OPPORTUNITY: Business tycoon
SUGGESTED DEAN:
ORGANIZATION: A Masscom college org suddenly transforming into a department org +wink+


(II) COLLEGE OF ACTIVISM-I know this college should have been established long before any other colleges were created in the campus. This college shall offer the following degree programs:

(1) BS MILITARY ADVENTURISM-students under this program will be taught the art of the coud d’etat, military junta and the likes
**JOB OPPORTUNITY: Senator

(2) BA COMMUNISM-self explanatory. Takot ako +wink+
**JOB OPPORTUNITY:NPA spokesperson

(3) BA POPULAR MOBILIZATION-Students following this degree program will be taught basic shouting, placard painting and mob marching.
**JOB OPPORTUNITY: Partylist representative

(4) MA MARXIST STUDIES-Graduates from this graduate program are expected to know the life and teachings of Karl Marx
**JOB OPPORTUNITY:NPA spokesperson

(5) MA MAO TSE-TUNG STUDIES-An alternative to the MA Marxist studies program plus literature from Red China
**JOB OPPORTUNITY:NPA spokesperson
SUGGESTED DEAN: Juan Paolo Alfonso


(III) SCHOOL OF TACTICAL SCHOLASTICS- We have had the skill even way back in high school or even to some, in elementary. The art of tactical scholastics has long been a effective alternative to conventional studying. It is expected that the number of enrollees under this program would be a lot less than the ones I’ve already mentioned because of the ethical issues tagged under the subject matter but in a few semesters time the school of tactical scholastics would eventually transform to a college of tactical scholastics once it sinks in to the society.

(1) BS CHEATING AND FORGERY (MAJOR IN PRINT OR ORAL EXAMINATION)-Official file tampering degree
**JOB OPPORTUNITY: Fixer

(2) BA TEACHER’S PETOMOLOGY-this course explores the art of tactical gift-giving and obedience. Its graduates become adept in getting a flat one with mere charm.
**JOB OPPORTUNITY: Professional student
SUGGESTED DEAN: Any Student


(IV) INSTITUTE OF ELJIBITIZOLOGY-The College that explores the potentials of the third sex.

(1)BA CLOSETOLOGY-The art of hiding. Suggested professors are piolo pascual, uma khouni, paolo ballesteros, etc.

(2)BA HOMOSEXUAL LINGUISTICS-Students studying the gay lingo and its evolution.

(3)CERTIFICATE IN FINGER GYMNASTICS-a crash course on how to have that little pinky finger of yours up while picking up a glass, holding a vase, etc.
SUGGESTED DEAN: Piolo Pascual or Danton Remoto
EXTRA:Abolition of the Third World Studies Library and converting it to the Third Sex Studies Library


OTHERS:

BS EXHIBITIONOLOGY (MAJOR IN PETTING OR NECKING)-With the rising number of the academic populace exhibiting public displays of affection, it is imperative that such a degree program be made. Classroom shortage is not a problem because classes under this course maybe held either in the lagoon or the sunken garden.

PhD in ORGANIZATIONALSTUDIES (MAJOR IN ORG MINOR IN ACADEMICS)-This graduate program should only be offered to students who have had at least two organizations in his/her undergraduate years. Once this criterion has been satisfied, the screening committee should make sure that aspiring applicants to this program should have at least at one point in their stay in the university had:
(1)Skipped class in favor of an org activity;
(2)spent more time with orgmates than with family; and
(3)gone to campus only to attend an org activity.

part 2 nung previous entry. hahaha. super benta talaga.

------------

I thought Jay's ex-girlfriend was really out of our lives. But heaven
only goes that I was wrong. Kakakasal pa lang namin nun when Jay
received a uninamous text. "Meet me at the clinic." I had a stinking
feeling in my butt. I told him not to go. It might in danger him.
Pero sabi niya, ok lang daw because life is what we make. Tumahimik
lang ako. Sabi niya, "Penny for you talks." But I didn't know what to
say. Beggars can't be losers. Isa pa, worried talaga ako na baka yung
girl yun. Jay said, "Can't got your tongue?" I tried to smile at him.
Kahit di ako nagsalita, actions speak louder than works, di ba?

Be that as is may, umalis pa rin siya. I was out of the loophole.
After a few hours, I called him on his cellphone. But my calls fell
on Jeff's ears. Lalo akong nag-worry kasi I didn't even know Jeff.
Sabi na nga ba di na dapat umalis si Jay. That's what I'm talking
about it.

So I tried calling some friends who will help me find Jay. That's
what friends are for naman di ba? But I just faced a blank mall. I
had to do this alone. Nag-taxi na lang ako. Pero ang mahal na pala ng
plug down rate.

When I got to the clinic, the security was really buffed up. Di
basta-basta makakapasok. So I said, "I beg your cordon. I'm patient.
It's my favorite virtue nga e." Nagduda yata yung isang guard.
Hinawakan ako sa arm. The nerd! I shouted, "Don't touch me not!" Buti
na lang the other guards were nice and said, "Come on, let's join
us."

When I went inside, parang I've been there, done there. Nung walang
nakatingin, nag-explore ako. Nakarating ako sa top floor and I had a
bird's IQ of the clinic. I could not explain it but I was drawn to a
room on the floor. Siguro Divine Intermission na yun.

Parang may narinig akong umuungol. I was thorn. Di ko alam kung aalis
ba ako o papasukin ko. It made me stick in the stomach to think that
Jay and his ex-girlfriend were there. I tried to tell myself to
slower my expectations. But to tell with it! I had to strike while
the iron is not. I had to hear the truth from the corpse's mouth. I
barraged in. O my gas! Si Jay, naka-strap sa operating table, parang
genie pig sa isang nakakatakot na experiment. He was on the cutting
edge. He was bleeding. At ang doctor na nagpapahirap sa kanya, ang
ex-girlfriend niya at ang bago nitong boyfriend, ang nurse na si
Walter. Doon ko napatunayang blood is thicker than Walter.

Guess watch? Di ko alam kung paano ko nagawa pero I was able to
search and rescue Jay. Siguro adrenaline brush na yun.

Now, he's recovering. Nag-sorry siya na hindi siya nakinig sa akin. I
know it's a better pill to swallow your pride so it's forgive and
forget me not. All swell that end swell. I know we should kiss and
put on makeup.

Ang ex-girlfriend naman niya at si Walter, nakakulong na. Detention
is really better than cure. So the moral of the lesson is: if
symptoms persist, insult your doctor.